The Silent Impact of Developmental Trauma and Attachment Wounds
Many people live with emotional struggles that don’t have a clear cause. I can’t even start counting the times I’ve heard my clients say - “I don’t know where this feeling comes from. It just is.“ or “I have always been like this.”
And, almost always, the roots of those foggy, yet immensely real feelings can be traced back to early childhood experiences and their wounds - developmental trauma, as mental health professionals call it. Now, the tricky part with developmental trauma is that it’s often hard to distinguish as such. Shock trauma, for example, has a clear, distinctive traumatic event that leaves the individual initially in shock, and then in traumatic flashbacks that come back when triggered. Developmental trauma, on the other hand, doesn’t necessarily have a shock. Oftentimes, it is a silent, ongoing, persistent, and highly covert abuse, traumatic events, or bonding ruptures. For the person suffering from developmental trauma, they may just seem like “their usual childhood.”
EMDR often tackles and helps with developmental trauma and attachment wounds. With its ability to be a non-invasive healing tool, it is the most suitable psychological tool that can heal with a minimal risk of re-traumatisation. So, in this blog post, I will explore all of the aspects connected to developmental trauma, attachment wounds, and how EMDR works with them. Read on to understand the silent impact of developmental trauma and attachment trauma.
What is Developmental Trauma?
Developmental trauma is a childhood trauma that can be caused by many different things, but essentially, can be categorized into 3 different groups: overt violent behavior from the parent or caregiver, neglect, and environmental-caused difficulties. Violent behavior includes physical, emotional, or sexual abuse or active violence; Neglect may include relational misattunement, lack of safety, mistreatment, or disruptions in attachment relationships; Environmental-caused difficulties include witnessing violent behavior in the home or neighbourhood, living in war zones, or living in a household where there is abuse or mental illness present. All these types of traumas have adverse effects on the child. If you want to learn more about developmental trauma and adverse childhood experiences, head over to our ACE blog on the topic. Within this blog, you can also find a short Childhood trauma test, which can help you identify if you have suffered any form of childhood trauma.
No matter the source of the trauma itself, the main element of any developmental trauma is the interpersonal, relational nature of the trauma. In its essence, the trauma for the child is always relational, as they are completely dependent on grown-ups and caregivers for their emotional and physical safety. When these needs are not met, the experiences themselves become traumatic, but so do the attachments with those who are supposed to protect them. This is what we call “attachment wounds.”
Relational Trauma and Attachment Wounds
Attachment theory in psychology was first established and explored during the 1950s. Today, attachment theory is a rich theoretical ground that explains the ways in which children form bonds and attachments to their primary caregivers. Depending on the circumstances and the mother’s behavior toward the child, the child will form a particular attachment style to her. Attachment theory identifies four primary styles of connection:
Secure Attachment is formed when the caregivers are consistent, responsive, and emotionally available for the child. As adults, people with secure attachment trust others, are comfortable and want to have intimacy, and can handle conflict constructively.
Anxious Attachment develops when the caregivers are inconsistent, being attentive to the child’s needs one time, and being unavailable or dismissive the next. This causes anxiety for the child, leading them to feel a deep fear of abandonment, need for constant reassurance and attention, and emotional hunger.
Avoidant Attachment forms when the caregivers are distant, dismissive, or easily overwhelmed. The child learns to suppress their own needs and be left to their own devices, often being highly independent and having a hard time being vulnerable or emotionally intimate with others.
Disorganized Attachment develops in environments in which there is unresolved caregiver trauma, neglect, or abuse from the caregiver. In these chaotic circumstances, a push-pull dynamic happens in the child, as they crave attention and connection, but they also fear it, as it may cause them pain or disappointment.
When a child experiences any form of developmental trauma, the nervous system adapts in ways that ensure survival. Instead of learning “I am worthy, and others can be trusted,” the child may internalize messages like “My needs are too much,” or “Love means pain or rejection.” These internalized beliefs become the core of insecure attachments, shaping adult relational patterns and emotional reactions.
Signs of unresolved attachment wounds in adulthood
Common signs include:
Having a fear of abandonment, being left out, or being rejected.
Feeling overwhelmed by closeness and fearing losing a sense of self in relationships.
Difficulty opening up emotionally, fear of intimacy, difficulty trusting others, and second-guessing their intentions.
Fearing and avoiding vulnerability and any possibility of rejection, betrayal, or judgment.
Self-sabotage in the form of pulling away, provoking conflict, ending things abruptly, and acting in ways in which you know you will trigger retrieval from the other side.
People pleasing and over-adapting to others, prioritizing other people’s needs over your own, being “easy,” agreeable, and problem-free to “deserve” love.
How Developmental Trauma Is Stored in the Brain and Body
Developmental trauma, because it happens early, can have long-lasting effects on the brain chemistry and body of the child.
First of all, developmental trauma memories may be implicitly stored, i.e., the person might not remember them fully, as they might have depersonalized/dissociated to live through those events. Nonetheless, those memories are present somewhere in the brain, so the person might relive some of those early traumas, even if they don’t fully remember them.
Secondly, childhood trauma has a role in the nervous system, especially the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses. These autonomic nervous system reactions serve as protective mechanisms and survival strategies. A learned nervous system response may become automatic, causing the person to feel powerless in the way they react as grown-ups. This is especially true in cases of triggers.
Triggers in adult relationships may mirror or remind the person of their attachment wounds, so they may create relationship patterns that repeat across different adult relationships. People pleasing, inability to set boundaries, uncontrollable rage, staying in abusive relationships, anxiety, and constant need for approval may all stem from childhood attachment wounds.
When it comes to developmental trauma, many of the effects of that trauma are somatic and preverbal. Due to lower logical abilities, the child is unable to fully process the trauma. Furthermore, children have restricted access to power and decision-making, so their traumatic experiences are often stored in the body and may lack the cognitive aspect. This is why, often, even as adults, people with developmental trauma have difficulty explaining here and how those wounds happened. On a somatic level, though, the trauma and its effects are present, fully real and active.
So, talk therapies alone have a restricted impact on healing attachment wounds. EMDR and somatic therapies, on the other hand, can be highly successful, as they often focus exclusively on the so-called "felt sense" memories - the bodily awareness, gut feelings, bodily sensations and tensions, emotions, and emotional responses that have their roots in past experiences.
Working on “Felt Sense” Memories with EMDR Therapy
EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be a powerful healing tool in cases where the traumatic experience happened long before the child could fully process and explain it, or when they have forgotten the traumatic experience as a coping mechanism. A 2018 systematic review concluded that EMDR can be effective for both children and adults who have experienced long-term relational trauma, including emotional neglect and attachment disruptions.
EMDR is a structured, evidence-based therapy originally developed to treat PTSD. It uses bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements) while the client focuses on their distressing memories or sensations. This eye stimulation, when recalling memories, helps the brain reprocess the traumatic material. With this work, the memories lose their intensity, become less emotionally charged and distressing, and the person can integrate them in a healthier way.
EMDR protocols allow the therapist to work directly with the experience as it is stored in the nervous system. EMDR doesn’t require a clear narrative or history to be effective. It can begin with a feeling of "being small and invisible," or a tightness in the chest that arises when imagining certain scenarios. By working with these embodied experiences, EMDR works with the client address and heal how trauma feels, not just what happened. This is especially important for cases where the client has suffered an early, preverbal, or somatically-stored trauma.
Clients with attachment trauma often don’t have one traumatic event, but rather a lifetime of chronic misattunement, mistreatment, or emotional unavailability. For these kinds of clients, research findings suggest that EMDR may do more than just work on trauma symptoms - it might also promote healthier attachment patterns. A 2022 pilot study by Barazzone et al. found that participants, particularly those with dismissive or fearful attachment styles, showed significant increases in attachment security following EMDR treatment.
This process is also supported by the therapeutic relationship in EMDR, where the therapist becomes a secure, safe, and consistent person for clients with insecure attachments. The therapist's consistent presence can challenge existing relational models and provide a safe space. For clients who are highly sensitive, easily overwhelmed, or prone to dissociation, EMDR must be approached gently and collaboratively. This often includes an extended preparation phase, using modified protocols and techniques, a slower and safer therapy pace, and including different types of modalities within the process. In the case of attachment wounds and developmental trauma, a combination of EMDR and somatic therapy is highly effective by tackling both the memories and the somatic sensations. At EMDR Therapy Nashville, we combine EMDR and Somatic Therapy for holistic, client-centered care. You can read more about that here.
What Clients Often Experience After EMDR Therapy
After undergoing EMDR, clients often report a set of positive experiences:
More self-compassion and inner calm
Healthier boundaries and less reactivity
Increased capacity for intimacy and connection
Reduced internal shame and critical self-talk
If you want to read more about the benefits of EMDR, visit our blog on that topic.
Conclusion
Unfortunately, developmental trauma is common. But, thankfully, it is also both survivable and conquerable. EMDR therapy is a wonderful tool that can help heal the silent early wounds of attachment.
Curious whether EMDR could support your healing? Reach out to learn more or schedule a consultation. At EMDR Therapy Nashville, we offer trauma-informed, attachment-focused, treatment-combined care that aligns with your individual needs and natural pace.
Resources
Chen, R., Gillespie, A., Zhao, Y., Xi, Y., Ren, Y., & McLean, L. (2018, April 11). The efficacy of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing in children and adults who have experienced complex childhood trauma: A systematic review of randomized controlled trials. Frontiers. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00534/full
Barazzone, N. A. (2023, February 1). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy and Change in Attachment Security: A Pilot Study. https://spj.science.org/doi/10.1891/EMDR-2022-0053